Keeping sanity alive and my mouth shut

Yesterday, my carry-on packed, I headed off into the dark of a midwestern morning, on my way to the Rally to Restore Sanity. At the airport I was questioned by Transportation Safety officers and I admitted to possession of toothpaste and shampoo. They made me unpack so they could examine my Dopp kit.

I had the insane urge to make a joke, something like, “Glad I left the weaponized anthrax at home.”

Imagine the ramifications…

“Say what?” says the TSA guy.

“That’s a joke.” I reply. And then, with a compulsive urge to fill the stony silence, I continue, “I didn’t leave it at home.”

The TSA guy raises an eyebrow.

“I mean I have no WMDs of any kind. Really. Just got my sense of humor twisted by Earth The Book. It’s a little dark, this book. I’m reading….”

“Step over here, sir.” In my mind the guy is already snapping on the rubber gloves for the cavity search. I have the good sense to just keep my mouth shut.

I bought the book as a backgrounder. I lost my Library of Congress library card so I had to resort to the free market alternative for my research.
* * *
Yesterday was a long day, but it’s a bright and beautiful Friday morning here in College Park, Maryland. Today, I’m having second thoughts about this Jon Stewart guy. I think I’ll get on the Metro and head to the Mall to see what’s happening.